Sunday, July 5, 2009

Focus Upon Me Fridays....

Matthew 7:12 In everything, deal with others as you would like the to deal with you.

The Golden Rule. It seems appropriate for God to show me this verse as I have been invited to a baby shower. Although, in order to preserve my own heart, I try to avoid them. Reasons as to why I cannot go swim through my mind. My husband recently mentioned to me that I am becoming a recluse. Perhaps, I am. And I am finding out that I don't mind.

Lord, I want to deal with others as I would want them to deal with me. But how do I stop a hurting heart, without hearting others?

It seems that God has more work to do within me.


  1. I know the feeling...I avoid baby showers and I've lost friends due to the fact they have children and I don't. It's not all on my part...they avoid me too. Crazy huh? Carrying the cross of IF is not easy and it's full of challanges. I believe through this I've found out who my real friends are and who are not. Maybe that is a good thing? I've gone to baby showers even though I knew it would hurt and you know what? I didn't feel any better by now I just say I can't make it and I send a gift. Thankfully, most of my friends and family have had their children. I think it's okay to protect our hearts...if we don't than who will? It's part of IF. God bless.

  2. I have not been diagnosed infertile and right now I'm crying because I got my period once again. This is so hard for me we have been trying for so long. I was not your typical little girl growing up in the 80's. Whenever asked what do you want to be when you grow up I'd answer "a wife and mother". When I met my husband I knew I was on my way…i guess not. I will now turn to my bible and hope to brave my pending diagnosis of infertility.

  3. I cry silent tears all the time. I try not to cry to much in front of others, including the one that always wipes away my tears; my husband. My husband and I have always dreamed of being able to have a house full of children and I know he grieves in his own way. I cry silent tears because I do not want to try and explain why I am crying to someone in my mind can’t possibly know what it’s like to suffer this way. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy for those that have been given the gift of being able to have children of their own. We’ve tried fertility treatment that worked, but we lost our baby and then a few months later I was laid off of work, the new job that I took doesn’t have the same coverage. We tried adoption and that failed us, the mother was unable to give her baby up and as much as I wanted to hate her I just prayed that she would love and care for her baby as much as we would have. I thought I finally started coming to terms with the possibility that we may or may not have children of our own and tried focusing my attention on other things. I thought I accepted it all until tonight when I got a call from one of my neighbors telling me that the other neighbor had a baby boy. A few hours later while on face book chatting with a childhood friend, she informed me her son’s girlfriend was delivering their baby by C-section tomorrow. I should also mention that there are 7 other people that are close to us that are also expecting this year. Of course the invitation for baby showers have been received but I hide them, so I do not have to acknowledge the shower. I know they do not just go away. My thought is; I will deal with it as the time gets closer and will I try to act excited if backed into a corner. I sometimes thought maybe it is depression, but I honestly do not feel I am depressed. I almost feel I am mourning the loss of the children we once planned on having and the ones we have lost ourselves. We have all sorts of support groups, but I have yet to find one that offers support to infertile couples. It was nice to Google and find others that might actually grieve like I do and avoid baby showers as I have done. I do still feel a void and pray that we will still have our family and ask that you also pray for all of those that suffer this way.God Bless from Lost in IL

  4. IF is so very difficult and so very unfair lot in life. I can feel your pain in your posts. I am sorry that infertility exists.

    Praying for all of us.